Last workweek , Appleannouncedits fiscal result for the first calendar poop of the yr and if you had read some of the punditry in the days before the announcement you may be eligible to link up a stratum action suit for a case of whiplash injury .
Some people , you see , can see a cow patty in a mint of unicorn ponies , no matter how minor a cake it is .
“ Apple iPhone : Large Unexpected Slowdown In China . ”
sound spoilt !
… what I ’m perish to account next is genuinely a large downside surprise in gross sales .
[ shine flashlight under chin ]
AAAAAIIIIIIEEEEE !
What follow , however , are numbers indicate iPhone sales were up 155 percentage year - over - year in January ( not a typo ! ) , up 320 percent in February ( still not a typo ! ) and then down 10 percent in March ( and also not a typo ) . The article wisely tells us to “ focalise on March ” . Nnnkay .
takeout food : very disturbing indeed .
For its part , Apple saysthere will likely be a decline from the March twenty-five percent to the June quarter , basically because the March quarter was so amazing , but it still expects “ tax income to grow strong double digit yr over year ” next stern . So , you might hold off on burn those AAPL stock certificates , at least for just a piffling while longer .
Another art object said,“[Facebook , Amazon , Apple , Netflix and Google ] and techs await very vulnerable , say SocGen ’s Edwards . ”
Look , if you do n’t jam these electronegative piece in powerful before profits arrive out , when are you going to obturate them in ? After ? That ’s ridiculous . No one would read them then !
A third recount us,“Why Apple Could repose An Egg ”
The only egg Apple laid was of the golden smorgasbord , notchinga platter second one-quarter .
As if omen miserable results that never happen was n’t bad enough , it look that learned person are also back on their “ production stinger ” B.S. ( baloney sandwiches ) . At least they ’ve swap it up a piece and it ’s not about iPhones this time .
“ Apple reportedly cuts AirPods output as rival weaken sales . ”
This report comes from Nikkei . Nikkei , you may remember , is the outfit that tell us how no one likedthe iPhone Xbecause Apple was cutting production and then told us how no one likedthe iPhone XRbecause Apple was cutting production . And then it turn out people really did like those phones quite a snatch . Still , you should 100 percentage think themthistime because learnin ’ things is for those big metropolis case and you ’re too fresh to come down forthat !
It certainly must be because of “ increase free-enterprise atmospheric pressure ” and not at all because the companionship is widely carry to plunge fresh AirPods sometime soon . Whatever the showcase , Apple ’s wearables revenue was only up , uh , 25 percent last quarter so it ’s probably become to break making wearables you ’d guess .
Apple certainly faces some challenges ( just this week the test with Epic over the App Store has begun ) . It always has . Someday it will likely fall from its lofty position but in the Christian Bible of Batman in all those Harry Potter flick , it is not this day .
The Macalope may not have that character right .
