You ever hear those stories about screwball law that are somehow still on the Bible in certain areas ? “ City Council Shocked To discover regulation date stamp To ban Forbidding Left Handed People From Eating Cheese Still On The Books . ”
That ’s middling much how the Macalope respond every time he ’s reminded they still let John C. Dvorak write about Apple .
“ How the Apple Car Could Succeed and Why it Wo n’t . ” ( No link but an archive linkhere . )
Do we really need to narrate the many heinousness committed by Dvorak ? This is the guy rope who enounce Apple need to“pull the male plug on the iPhone”three month before it set up because Nokia and Motorola already had the smartphone market locked up .
In a just universe , Dvorak ’s helping hand would go on strike and crawl off the end of his arms every time he sit down down to drop a line about Apple . It is regrettable that the laws of justice do not work that path in our universe . Please bless the online petition .
There is no likeliness that Apple can be successful in a business this competitive .
Dvorak ’s thought on the gross profit margin Apple got on the Mac back in 2007 are also catgut - bustingly funny :
Those margins can not exist in the peregrine handset business for more than 15 minutes .
Apple , of course , has enjoyed iPhone margin that aresubstantially greater than those on the Macfor years .
No amount of being dramatically wrong come along to shame Dvorak or the publications he write for . His Apple analysis is likePC Magazine ’s personalProfessor Binns , it died years ago but is still somehow point up to work .
I ’ve been a proponent of Apple commercialize a gravid - screen TV set for probably five long time or more .
You know what they should make ? A facsimile machine auto .
automobile design is tricky .
Ooh . Is it a black artistic production like alchemy or making a good vegan meat loaf ? Or is it something that ’s hard but not impossible to figure out if you pay a bunch of years to restfully working on it , like making a smartphone ?
If the excogitation is too weird , or open to ridicule , or if it pick up a derisive nickname … then it will be D.O.A.
There are so many ways Apple could go wrong that it ’s positively dizzying ! for certain all reasonable multitude can hold that there ’s no fashion they could get it right so they might as well just not try . It ’s amazing how not trying so often turn out to be the best solution .
Size is another consideration . How big or how small should the fomite be ?
How many carburetors should it have ? One ? Three ? One hundred and seventy - five ? What does a carburetor even do ? Very few car experts ( known in the line of work as “ caritarians ” ) even know ! And all this before we say the words that come to fear into the center of auto designers everywhere : Wankel orbitual locomotive .
All of the breathless failure point Dvorak tries to throw on the road like tire spikes would be applicable for any companionship , not just Apple . Except this one , of class :
And here come the rub . The price .
Apple products cost too much ! They ’ll never be able to betray any !
Uh - huh . Sure .
Dvorak ’s Apple musings are not analysis . They ’re performance art . Lazy , tired performance art .
