We may have reached summit self - parody with the “ What would Steve Jobs have done ? ” office , lector . The Macalope ’s just not trusted where we go from Rocco Pendola writing forForbes : “ If Steve Jobs Were Alive , He Would Fire Tim Cook ” ( no link because enough is enough , Forbes , but tip o ’ the antlers toDaring Fireball ) .
Pendola , who seems like a perfectly nice bozo on Twitter , apparently ca n’t help himself . Who knows what personal demons possess someone to write something with the force of 10,000 behind that are backward ? Let us all take a moment to be thankful we are not ourselves possess by such ill humors of the head .
The floor of delusion among Apple ( AAPL ) bulls reached unprecedented levels Friday morning .
forcing out is not just a river in Egypt , Rocco . It ’s actually not a river anywhere , so far as the Macalope knows , but it is a condition , and you ’ve got it bad .
I have been using Apple ’s Maps app on my iPhone 5 . While it was certainly a mistake to release an crude product to interchange the solid Google ( GOOG ) Maps , it ’s not that bad .
Ah , the quondam “ Just wait for the other shoe ! ” game ! Why is it the other shoe is always a smelly , worn out cross - flight simulator ?
I catch Apple the same fashion I do pizza pie and gender . There ’s no such thing as a bad Apple Cartesian product .
No bad Apple production , but fire the CEO . hold mother wit .
Steve Jobs set the legal profession so ludicrously high that it ’s almost unjust to criticize what happens on Cook ’s watch .
No ! It ’s not ! Just criticize him rationally ! Is that too much to ask ?
I observe Apple fanboys and fangirls with pity as they defend Tim Cook . He is the kind of guy Jobs would have fired .
Thus do the question “ What did Rocco Pendola have for breakfast this forenoon ? ” Answer : a heaping bowl of Kellogg ’s Crazy Flakes .
This is n’t the first time Pendola hasgone off on Tim Cook . But this time he goes off the bass end . And through the bottom of the syndicate . And the Earth ’s impudence .
And , yes , I experience that Jobs hire him .
But his performance over the last year has beensoatrocious he would now fire him . Because a store jockey with really nice pilus say so .
But , you twit an incredibly slippy incline when you use these fact to argue that ( A ) Jobs would not be furious right now …
No . Stop . The point is not to indicate that Steve Jobs would not be infuriated . The point is it does n’t matter what Steve Jobs would want . The man is drained . What he would want is , sadly , academic . The fact that the people who seem most implicated about what Steve Jobs would do are the ones who never understood him when he was alive would be diverting if these exercise were n’t so queasy .
… ( B ) The above - mentioned details exonerate Cook from real consequences for the type of horrendous missteps Jobs never would have made …
It ’s laborious to believe we ’re still doing this . Must the Macalope trot out MobileMe again ? Must he steer out that Jobs was aware ofeverythingApple had design for the preceding year , if not longer ?
… and ( C ) There ’s no difference between how Cook errs and responds to mistakes and how Jobs did .
Of course there ’s a difference . To say that Jobs ’s response is the only correct manner , however , is pathetic . The man is dead . To run around render to emulate him is pointless and expressly against his last compliments . Yet that ’s exactly what Pendola guess Cook should do .
I think I have a decent way with lyric , however , I can not find any even faithful to appropriate to illustrate how flabbergasted I am right now .
That makes two of us .
If Jobs was alert and just slide into a Chairman or Director role , Cook would have been write his surrender letter of the alphabet , not a wacky apologia on Friday .
So , we now have people criticizing the apology for being a non - apologia and people criticize it for being sappy . If we could only get them into a way and have them fight back it out .
The recuperation mental process is what matters . Cook slaughter this one .
in reality , what matter is iPhone sale . Which , you know , are n’t so bad .
at long last , this is an unbelievably lamentable story .
Jobs ’s end is sad . Apple ’s performance since then is actually quite good .
But what ’s also pitiful is people dragging out job ’s name to examine to whap Apple over the head . Criticize the troupe if you want , but doing it in Steve Jobs ’s name is a lazy manner of justify your stinking analysis of Apple . It ’s an unseemly and now old-hat proficiency . pick apart it off already .
