What motivates a company ? Well , turns out it might be the same thing that motivates someone to write a fulmination about Apple .
Virginia Heffernan give us an target example in this principle , writing for Yahoo in ? Machine Politics ? ( whatever that is):?Apple?s Map app non - apologia : We?re sorry you feel that way?(tip o ? the antlers to Matthew Smith ) .
Non - apology ? Here?s what Cook say :
At Apple , we strive to make worldly concern - class products that birth the good experience possible to our customers . With the launch of our new Maps last hebdomad , we diminish short on this dedication . We are extremely no-count for the foiling this has stimulate our customers and we are doing everything we can to make function well .
Now , the Macalope knowswhat a non - apology smell likeand this isn?t that .
The point of offer a non - excuse is to artfully nullify any conditional relation of personal incrimination . ? I?m sorry you find that way . It certainly isn?t because of anythingI?vedone , but I?m sorryyoufeel that way . perhaps it?s because you?re a tremendous ultraconservative who takes everything the wrong elbow room and has a mess of personal issues . Are you in therapy ? You should be . I?m sorry you necessitate therapy because of what I?m guessing was a defective puerility . ?
That?s a non - apology . In Cook?sactualapology , however , the ? this ? in third judgment of conviction is ? we fell light on our commitment . ? It?s not ? your dazed feelings are so tender , ? it?s something that Apple did . What he?s saying is ? I?m sorry what we did have you frustration . ? It?s a little uneven that Cook splitting it out into two condemnation seems to have befuddle a formerNew York Timesstaff writer who has also work out atHarper?s , The New Yorker , and Slate and hasa fricking Ph . D in English Literature from Harvard .
And it?sreallyodd that it pick out a comic drawing of a mythical man - Mac - antelope hybrid to explain it to her . But that seems to be where we are .
What bugged users about Apple Maps was not that it was frail .
Really ? That wasn?t it ? Because the Macalope?s followed this rather closely?admittedly , maybe not as nearly as someone who covers ? automobile Politics??and he?s reasonably sure that?s it .
Every app we use is imperfect .
Indeed . Then why the tumult , doctor ?
alternatively , what was madden was that you , Apple , turn so petty , arrogant and despiteful that you tried to motor the renowned marvel that is Google Maps?which since 2005 has tested , refined and made spectacularly utile its gamy - res airy and satellite images of virtually the whole planet?off your dense newfangled operating system , iOS6 .
Wait . You?re actually saying that if the data in the Maps apphadbeen sodding , people would have still been huffy because of a business concern conclusion Apple made ?
Uh , no . Really , people don?t manage where their map data comes from , as long as it?s good . The data Apple used wasn?t as ripe , and people expect good from Apple . And some people sit around waiting for Apple?s rare error so they can make a big deal about it . That?swhat this is all about .
You pushed out a free , great thing ?
Stop . Stop . Google Maps is not free . It for sure isn?t loose to Apple , and advertizing are a price to users . Heffernan completely overleap to mention this anywhere in her extended inflated rant , but one of the major reason Apple couldn?t come to term with Google was because Google wanted more user information . Apple didn?t want to give it to them becauseApple?scustomers are hoi polloi who buy iPhones . Google wanted it becauseGoogle?scustomers are advertisers . That?s not crazy Apple fanboi lecture , that?s Business 101 .
? and jammed in your inexpert dimestore one , only because you were feeling afraid and covetous , and in so doing you showed a sicko side of yourself ( one we all suspect has always been there ) .
You know Apple isn?t actually an someone , right ? And certainly not a serial killer or pervert or whatever it is you?re implying ? Because someone here?s catch outcome and the Macalope?s pretty sure it isn?t the jumbo corp that?s being over - anthropomorphized .
It?s exciting , sort of , when Titans clash . In the mythical Californian kingdoms of Cupertino and Mountain View , Apple and Google dramatically have at each other . They show no mercy . As arms resound ?
Wait , is this whole column a viral ad forGame of Thrones ? Because that would make more sense .
Actually , if you?re looking for the real understanding for Heffernan writing this preposterously prideful while , count no further than the last of the writer indorsement :
Her new Bible , Magic and Loss : The Pleasures of the Internet , will be bring out in early 2013 .
Oooh , there?s still time for the Macalope to make the section about how think fanbois can be to hoi polloi who are very sensibly point out how vicious Apple is !
Sorry , Virginia , you were saying something about companies making poor choice that reflect badly on themselves just to make money . Please persist in .
We should maybe be grateful , then , for incidents like this later dustup over Apple Maps . It lays that greed and pettiness bare .
Not bare enough , apparently , as we?re 500 countersign in here and you haven?t brought up even one of the very genuine line reasonableness on the part of both Apple and Google that contribute to this . There sure have been a lot of dramatic allusions to mythological war , though .
The company?s esthetic of purity and perfection?however fascist in nature ? ?
Paging Mr. Godwin . Mr. Godwin to the white good manners sound , please .
? is resistless . But we shouldn?t forget that Apple is everywhere?in our pocket , in our mental capacity , all over our acknowledgment - carte du jour bills?for a reason . And it?s not because the company have a go at it us .
No . You?re right . It?s because they make awesome products .
Yes , Apple is a company and companiesdon?tlove . They don?t feel empathy or compassionateness . They don?t have Hope and dreams .
Neither , however , are they ? self-loving . ? They do not ? feel afraid ? and they most certainly do not have an ? i d. ?
So what was your point again ?
Oh , right . Holy Writ sales .
