Someone alert eWeek ’s Don Reisinger ! Business Insider is completely slip his schtik !
Reisinger , as the Macalope ’s advanced and virile lector be intimate , is the big businessman of slideshow list data formatting . It ’s a small and insipid kingdom , but what do you prevail , huh ?
Now Business Insider ’s Dylan Love brings us “ 9 Android Features That Blow iPhone Out Of The piddle ” ( no connection , naturally ) .
Just nine ? Where ’s the tenth ? occur on , that ’s just leave money on the table .
By the way , if your iPhone ’s in the water , the warranty is already quash . So …
expansile storage
If your iPhone is filled with files , you ’re out of lot .
Right , you lie with how your iPhone gets “ filled with files . ” Like your college term newspaper publisher and that journal of all your thoughts .
It ’s true that you could get Android phones with expandable store and you ca n’t get an iPhone with that . It ’s also true that most people really do n’t wish .
Maps that do n’t suck
BOO - YAH ! Way to keep it fresh , Dylan .
No “ walled garden ”
You do n’t have that in the Android ecosystem ! And , before you complain , a sump does qualify as an ecosystem .
Choose your nonpayment apps for Web browse , electronic mail , and more
If that is the most significant thing to you , then go into the Android light and be at repose .
No . Go . Go on . No , you ca n’t have honorable apps , the best built computer hardware , and a host of other iPhone reward you wo n’t see on this list . You made your pick . Beat it .
reinforcement for multiple app stores .
Double dipping ! That ’s cover in “ Walled garden ” ! Dude , Reisinger practically forge padding a list by mentioning essentially the same thing two different ways as disjoined items ! Sue this guy blind , Don !
Multiple computer hardware pick
Indeed . you’re able to either have the unspoiled hardware , or you’re able to select between a crew of less selection . Take your cream !
received overseas telegram and dock connections
There ’s no whacky Lightning connecter in the Android world .
The Lightning connective is just silly ! You ca n’t refuse that , Apple jerk ! Sure it allow for thinner computer hardware and can be plugged in either path , but it ’s still silly ! Why , it even looks like it ’s grinning at you ! Ha - ha ! Always … grin … at … you …
Android convenience are better
Well , seeing as iOS doesn’thavewidgets , that would seem self - evident .
Better consolidation with Google overhaul
No . Way .
And that ’s it . But the iPhone ? altogether blown out of the water .
“ Preposterous ! Nay , cockeyed ! ” , you say , as you have always visualize yourself a nineteenth hundred airship captain . “ This scalawag has not refer even one of the iPhone ’s many advantages over Android ! ”
‘ Tis on-key , Captain Leopold von Cornhusker ( ? ) . But never fear ! For Business Insider also has a list of the top ten reasons why iOS blow Android out of the water ! ( Presumably all that ’s left in the water now is Windows Phone and Blackberry . )
See , they do n’t really worry which one is well , they just want to show you multiple ads while you read zero pieces of useful message . Is that asking too much ?
Well , whatever that case , the Macalope would like to let Reisinger have intercourse that he ’s happy to be an expert witness for the criminal prosecution in Reisinger v. Business Insider . Do n’t let them get away with it , Don ! It ’s your meat competency !
