Gosh , it seems like months since we ’ve had a “ -gate ” dirt about the iPhone . Well , never fret , Apple follower ! Our drought is over ! Welcome , Batterygate !
First of all , allow the Macalope be cleared that this battery issuance is indeed terrible , and he would surely be very worked up over it were he not convinced that it ’s going to be solved sometime soon with a software update .
That said , have ’s move on to Zach Whittaker’s‘Batterygate ’ : Apple ’s latest iPhone controversy?(tip type O ’ the antler toHarry Marks ) which is a double threat . Not only does it attempt to create a outrage from a software glitch , it also confirm the hardiness ofBetteridge ’s Law of Headlines , which posit that “ Any headline which ends in a question mark can be answered by the word ‘ no . ’ ”
The last piece of Whittaker ’s that the Macalope recall reading wasthis gem , which told us what a unsuccessful person the iPad was … five months before it was announced .
With a achiever like that under his belt , it ’s a wonder that Zack still feels he can speak about Apple without summarily being express joy off the Internet .
Within a couple of weeks of last year ’s iPhone 4 launch , a meaning number of users had noticed lessen prison cell bars on their earphone display if the handset was held in a finical mode .
The Macalope wonders how Whittaker decided the routine was “ significant , ” since he has no way of know the total figure or percent of affected users . Just confide him , all right ? ! It ’s significant ! Ugh , why do you have to be so real about the import of password ?
Apple remained quiet , refusing to propose an account as to why the iPhone 4S was ‘ losing ’ power .
And , as we all recognize , quiet is equivalent to an admission of guilt .
Apple reportedly got in touch with a number of iPhone 4S exploiter — perhaps an strange footstep for a company to make — yet actions carry by the Cupertino giant which , as Steve Jobs reiterated during its ‘ Antennagate ’ press conference in July , may not storm many of Apple ’s die - grueling fans .
The Macalope ’s really not indisputable what the insinuation is here . Possibly because this prison term does n’t make any horse sense .
A senior Apple railroad engineer “ apologise ” for the germ that he reportedly admitted to be in the iPhone 4S , take down that they “ are n’t near to finding a fix ” .
Interesting usance of quotation mark . Does Whittaker think that there ’s something bastard about the contriteness , or that it ’s questionable that it even happened ? Maybe he just does n’t have it off the meaning of the word . After all , to the best of the Macalope ’s knowledge , he never apologized for what he said about the iPad .
depend on the prevalence of the return , where information metrics collected by Apple will no doubt show — should there be a press league like Antennagate to address such issue , Apple may wait until other ‘ issues ’ can be roll into the update .
A crush conference . For a software microbe . gravely . He propose that .
Or , you know , maybe they ’ll just unloose a software update .
Or , having say that , it may just appease the mass hysteria entreat up by journalists , bloggers and frantic customer and issue a clams - contraceptive pill - like plot of land , to at least calm the often overly - hyperactive medium .
Like , say , Zack Whittaker and ZDNet .
The Macalope does regain it reasonably amazing that Whittaker is suggesting that Apple might free a placebo update that in reality does nothing . That ’s , at the same time , a very serious charge and entirely laughable .
In fact , I can not think of a time whereby an operating system has not had post - launch updates rolled out to user ’ within say , a month after it was first released .
And yet you think this situation warrant a spruce name that conjures images of the largest political scandal in American chronicle . Not to refer a lot of unearthly charge and innuendo .
As part of this corporate , I accept our innate fault of wanting to hit the headlines .
Well , that’sgood . Because the first step toward curing an addiction is recognise you have a trouble .
“ Hi , I ’m Zack and I ’m … I ’m addicted to sensationalist headlines . ”
“ HI , ZACK . ”
Look , if you want a reasonable way to approach this egress , take a page from the Bouffant of Knowledge ( you may have sex him as Chris Breen ) and really seek to fix it yourself . spew out a thousand useless words about something and then tut - tutting about people who spew out a thousand useless words about something does not absolve you .
