What is it with the F - word ? learned person just ca n’t break off themselves from applying it to the Apple Watch , even after it ’s backordered to June .
write for theForbescontributor web and world ’s only corn castle made entirely of creamed corn , Bert Dohman asks“Will The Apple Watch Flop?”(Tip atomic number 8 ’ the antlers to@CaffeineAndHate . )
Remember , there are no unintelligent questions .
Except this one . This is the last one we ’ll reserve .
TV reporters were at Apple depot hoping to cover on the assumed big crowds .
Then TV newsperson are changeling . Which , yeah , OK .
But there were n’t any .
Must intend it ’s a entire bankruptcy , correct ? Probably means that . Even though they were n’t on sales agreement in the stores yet . mayhap that ’s even part of the failure . Who knows ? All we do hump is that the failure can never fail it can only be fail .
The significant motion is , “ Will citizenry corrupt it ? ” …
Amazingly , barely any newsperson asked [ Tim Cook ] that doubtfulness . But it is decisive .
Oh , you want to know how that would go ? Here ’s how that would go .
Reporter : “ Mr. Cook , will hoi polloi buy the Apple Watch ? ”
Cook : “ Yes . ”
Glad we settled that . The Macalope is indisputable it was confusing for everyone .
I late take part in an informal study of a revolutionary lawn tennis racquet …
No . Way . Is it potential you are overqualified to write a column about the Apple Watch being a collapse ?
That ’s the eccentric of escape questioning that caused the vast failure of the intro of the Ford Edsel .
Wait , what , wait , whoa .
You ’re saying that because Apple has not been asked “ Will people bribe it ? ” , the Apple Watch is the Edsel of today . You do n’t suppose thatmaybethat amount up at some point internally ? To Dohman , Apple is apparently run by lozenge hemipteran that act exclusively on inherent aptitude without thinking .
If you remember that one , you are revealing your age .
You are a million eld old . Or you ’ve read a book . Which also means you ’re pretty old .
Buyers will quickly get tired of charging the watch every 8 hours or so .
Facts ! What are they ? Who knows ? Take some thing I made up instead ! Here , I ’ve got a whole drawer full of them .
It is compatible only with the iPhone 5 & 6 . That ’s about 38 % of iPhone substance abuser , or around 5 % of the world ’s smartphone users .
A fraction of 100 of millions is useless ! What ’s the detail ? Why even bother ?
Now watch this logic .
Is it smart to have a consumer intersection that only 5 % of consumers can use ? That works for richly - price point such as Rolex , Patek Phillipe , etc . But for a $ 399 picket ?
As if ! ambition on , Apple ! Your piddly footling watch is n’t able to play with high - priced luxury trade good !
The terms is too high .
OW , MY neck opening .
Is it a sumptuousness token or is it a convenience ? The damage say , “ Neither . ”
Dohman somehow seems to have miss all the scream about the $ 10,000 variant . Which is unearthly since for a while it was the most extortionate thing ever but it altogether makes sense to leave out thing that do n’t confirm your argument when it ’s so faint .
This launching could well be the end to the percept that Apple can do no damage .
The Macalope thought that was Antennagate . Or Glassgate . Or Maps . Or …
That perception was based on the successes of Steve Jobs .
Sure . Because none of those things happened under him .
Actually , if you consider the unexampled version of existing iPhones under the new chief executive officer , you could follow up with more flops .
Apple sells more iPhones every quarter . They ’re wildly popular . And yet they ’re flops . admit me to explain how I come to this conclusion . First , guzzle a gallon of fortified malt John Barleycorn , then …
Actually , there is no whole step B.
The sales upsurge of iPhone 6 was nothing but a collar - up from iPhone fans who were languish for a larger screen door .
Really , when you take away all of Apple ’s successes , all that ’s left is flops .
I think the sentry will fall flat . Of course , I could be wrong . Apple will trust so .
arresting insights such as these are the hallmark of theForbescontributor net . And just when you think the insight could n’t get more insightful , they blow your judgement yet again .
Interestingly , on the day of the Apple Watch launch , Samsung launch its Galaxy S6 . It has great reviews . It could put a major dent into the sales agreement forecasts of the iPhone .
Suck your thinker . Sorry , the Macalope imply to say suck . Right out of your caput .
The phone is very much overpriced compared to the competition . Eventually , the ecosystem will fade when the great unwashed realize that they can get more for less with another phone .
It ’s like a clown elevator car of wrongness . Bumbling , comic clowns that are incorrect keep coming out of it , defying our sense for its internal capacitance to hold them .
If I were extend Apple …
Oh , my God .
One psychoanalyst who was on television set with me said …
This guy gets invite on telecasting to talk about Apple . permit that sink in for a minute . really , take an time of day or two . Heck , take the rest of the day off after pull in something so twisted and bizarre . Go best-loved some Capricorn . Do something for yourself .
Hey , we do n’t have a go at it how many Apple Watches the company will sell this quarter . They certainly sold as many as they could make for preordering . And if you anticipate that brilliant and devious Apple is purposely constraining mathematical product to make it seem like it ’s more pop than it is , the horny one will foresee with iPhone 5c .
It may not end up being as successful as the iPhone or the iPod , but it ’s clearly not a floating-point operation . No matter how many times you jam that Book into a newspaper column .
