So I was sitting at base Sunday , delight the last restful day I ’ll have for the next small while and register the comic newspaper , when I came acrossthis little routine of wire copypreviewing the just - about - to - bulge out Macworld Expo . The clause did the usual bit of stage - setting — talking about the possibility of an Apple - made phone that wo n’t be named the iPhone and the existence of a multimedia - rain cats and dogs congeal - top box that wo n’t be called iTV — before delving into the meat of the piece .
And concluding with :
countenance me see if I ’m capable to wrap my delicate , eggshell mind around this conceit : Steve Jobs theoretically strides on stage Tuesday , put in a set - top box that deliver smooth streaming of picture and sound recording from your Mac to your TV and then throws in a mobile phone with the size and simplicity of an iPod on top of that … and people will be howling with disappointment ? Apple ’s stock cost will plummet ? Newspapers and periodicals will gleefully break out the “ Apple : What plump Wrong ” cover invention they ’ve had on ice since the late ’ XC ? All this because Apple unveils a digital media convergence deviceanda cell phone on the same day ?
Does n’t this fall anyone else as just the least bit nutty ?
I suppose , in a common sense , Apple has become a dupe of its own keynote winner . The ship’s company ’s patented mix of privacy and showmanship certainly ratchets up the interest storey in any of Steve Jobs ’ public pronouncements . But it also create this unnatural prospect that each keynote has to do outdo the last . Yeah , yeah … the iPod mini one year … the Mac mini and iPod shuffling the next … Intel - based hardware shortly after that — but what have you done for me late , Steve ol’ buddy ?
Add to that the fact that we live in an era where no depth psychology can be exigent enough . Steve Jobs wo n’t even be able-bodied to make it off the stagecoach before someone , somewhere will make some sort of wholesale declaration about whether whatever gets announced is a grim failure or not after having just clasped eye on the matter . There ’s nothing wrong with first impressions — I’ve managed to release mine into a gently dear recurring lineament . We just need to take them with the proper dosage of Strategic Arms Limitation Talks .
So if I had to make an Expo wish , it would n’t inevitably be for some flashy raw gizmo or for theflying carsthat we ’ve all been promised ; rather , I would like some form of quantify sanity to hold . I ’ve give up all promise that Wall Street will ever conduct itself like the construction is n’t on fire when it come to Apple , but surely , the relief of us can keep thing in the proper perspective . I call up a production not named iTV and another one not named iPhone would be a pretty nice haul for one sunrise ; I ca n’t be the only one out there who feels this way .
Ah , but what do I think Applewillannounce . That , my friends , is the field of study of even less gently beloved recur feature — my one-year sure - to - be - discredit - within - hours Macworld Expo predictions . Just like the running of the pig kicks off the fete of San Fermín , it ’s just not a Macworld Expo until I ’ve go out on the shakiest of limbs to say what Steve Jobs and his minion have cooked up for Tuesday . After all , both ritual necessitate pain and humiliation , though in this instance , it ’s for the most part my own .
On to our on a regular basis scheduled inaccuracy :
• The product not named iPhone : really , I require this will be an iPod with some variety of phone capabilities built in . And , as such , it will carry an iPod - esque name — in the grand tradition of iPod photo , let ’s call it iPod headphone .
• The merchandise not named iTV : Apple ’s already told us most of what we need to recognise about its correct - top box — except what sort of wireless standard it will use , what it ’s telephone , and when it will ship . I ’ll say 802.11n , AppleTV ( I ’d think MacTV , but the product ’s going to be cross - platform ) , and the end of January .
• Leopard : I expect Apple will show off another feature or two for OS X 10.5 — please do n’t require me to infer which one — and let us know when to expect it . Over on theTech Night Owl Live , where you’re able to mind to me try and decease out several lucid sentences in succession with vary degrees of success , I said June , so I might as well repeat that foretelling here and have the comfort of being reproducible if not correct .
• New version of iLife and iWork . OK , so this is a product announcement pretty much dictated by the calendar . So let ’s make it a little more exciting . Apart from some fresh feature in iLife , there wo n’t be any new additions like iWeb last yr ; that wo n’t stop Steve Jobs from spending five mo of his keynote showing off various iDVD themes . iWork , however , will get a new program — a spreadsheet app to go along with Keynote and Pages . The name , you say ? Uh … Tables . Why not ?
• On - microscope stage appearances by key developers . Specifically , Adobe and Microsoft , whom Steve Jobs will quiz about the Intel - aboriginal status of their applications . If their answers displease them , he ’ll tell them to struggle to the death for his amusement .
• A fresh external excogitation for at least one hardware offering . I ’ll say the iMac , though it could very well be the MacBook Pro . The point here , is that Apple spend 2006 go people used to the idea of using Intel - based computer hardware by keeping the purpose consistent with the most recent PowerPC models . Now that people actualize an Intel microchip inside a Mac is n’t such a strange thing after all , Apple can freshen up the cases for its ironware just a little mo . It ’s been two - plus year for the flat - panel iMac look , so that run into me as a potential candidate .
So there you go — six predictions that are near certain to be lamentably off the mark . And when they are , I ’ll leave the job of writing the inevitable “ uncollectible . Keynote . Ever . ” postmortem to someone else .
