Hey , how about if , when we criticize Apple , the thing we kvetch about are actual problem instead of zany top ten or twenty six lists ? allow ’s just try it once and if initiate do n’t like it they can , uh , discontinue writing about Apple entirely .
Writing forThe Guardian , Steve Rose attempts to provide“A brief templet to everything that ’s plaguey about Apple . ”(Tip o ’ the antlers toAaron Fisher , Eric Díaz,@papanicandNathan Larsen . )
The list is not abbreviated , most of the detail not annoying .
Is this the beginning of the ending for Apple ?
Of course . Much in the path that life is just one foresightful march toward end . Just like this list .
The Macalope is often reprobate as an Apple “ vindicator ” but that ’s not really it . There ’s stack of elbow room to criticise Apple , he just hates to see it done so sloppily . If you ’re going to write a guide of things nettlesome about Apple , it really should be about things that actually count .
A list of such items could let in many thing , like obtuse Watch performance , the iTunes desktop app ( Rose cut and Miss at this one ) , the App Store ecosystem for developer , Apple Music ’s inscrutable user experience , Eddy Cue ’s fashion choice ( that’skindof a jocularity , but … ) and many others . Many of Rose ’s do n’t stand the examination you ’d give a desperation vending machine burrito leverage .
1 The passwords
This one ’s okay . The Macalope ’s not certain what the choice is to having multiple logins other than simply giving up on security , but user ID and password direction is kind of a mess .
2 The production launch
Please , just quiet release everything . Marketing is for fellowship that are trying tosellsomething . How gauche .
3 The endless hardware climb
discontinue trying to improve everything ! Really , I was fine with a Walkman and anHP 29C.
4 The Green Eggs and Ham glide path to computer software updates
There are several reasons Apple badger you to upgrade . The cynical one is it ’s easier for them if everyone ’s on the latest press release ( it ’s also a marketing shaft ) . But the boastful is security department . It ’s merely better to update . Complaining about it is like complaining about dental hygiene or oppressive government ordinance about how many weevil can be in a breakfast cereal .
You will not be surprised later to incur that Rose also sound off about glitch .
5 The U2 album
The only music Apple ever give away for free was the record album dead nobody wanted or ask for .
It was not the only music Apple ever give away for free but … yes .
6 The toll
Apple intersection cost too much ! And what ’s with that mellow resale value and all that utility and build timber ? ! Urgh !
7 They ’re too nerveless for cashbox
Thinking alfresco of the corner about how to manage a crowd retail store is simply hipsterism .
This is not psychoanalysis . This is fox a scene .
8 The ubiquitous ringtone
You recognize , the Macalope has a graduate arcdegree . you’re able to just imagine the poor life choices that led him to sitting at a desk and critique this list .
10 The rip - off appurtenance
THAT ’S THE SAME AS THE PRICE , YOU’RE DOUBLE DIPPING .
And we ’re not even half way of life through this lean . Do n’t interest , the Macalope wo n’t submit you to all of it . He ca n’t , it ’s against the Geneva Convention .
11 The unremitting iTunes revamping
The job is n’t that iTunes gets revamped , the job is it just keeps getting bad .
See , this is the problem with jabber . You lack making the actual point .
Siri , tight - forth four minutes .
15 Mac lag
Our old MacBook direct longer to wake up every morning than we do .
You ’ll note that “ old machine is sure-enough ” and “ Apple updates too much ” are both on the same list without a shred of irony .
Siri , skip over the things that are merely bass - ackwards and go to the next matter that is revoltingly basso - ackwards .
18 They have ferment into The gentleman’s gentleman
Apple has market itself as the alternative choice ever since Ridley Scott ’s 1984 - themed Super Bowl advertizement 30 years ago , but , in the lag , it has basically become Big chum
The company that just fought the FBI over protect the rights of its customers and has made privacy a cornerstone of its ethos ( as oppose to its competitors ) is essentially Big Brother . Huh . Guess you’re able to write that without detonate .
Siri , spin the bicycle of garbage again , please .
22 Their riches
Success is so annoying .
Make it rain down tyre fires again , Siri .
24 Error 53
How many corp possess and wield the major power to criminally damage their products – your product – after they ’ve deal them to you ?
Uh , in engineering science , all of them ?
Siri , put us out of our misery .
26 Their business enterprise model is The Circle
Dave Eggers ’ dystopian novel details a utopian - sounding tech corporation whose aspiration extend to every vista of the great unwashed ’s animation , anticipating , live up to and create their every desire , to the extent that people never postulate to ill-treat outside the closed closed circuit of ascendancy .
Which major applied science companydoesn’twant to do that ? Amazon practically gives away its pad and sellsan always - on hearing deviceandbuttons inspire by lab betrayer experiments , for exclaim out loud .
The Macalope is fine with criticism of Apple . bemuse a fit , though ? It ’s just not helpful .
