The Macalope must now doff his cap to that malefic genius Chris Matyszczyk at CNet who figured out how to have his bar and eat it , too .
( This is , of course , a jape . With a wheel like this , the Macalope ca n’t wear out chapeau . Also , if he ever finish up write more than 500 words about a retweet , put him out to pasture . )
( Which is another trick because being put out to pasturage really soundsawesome . )
See , Matyszczyk ’s Technically Incorrect looks at stories such as “ mankind climbs into toilet to retrieve speech sound , get completely stuck . ” That ’s a literal article on Technically Incorrect . See , if you note that your pillar is “ irreverent ” , you may direct all variety of stuff and nonsense of depart degress of importance . Like this piece:“Is Samsung far ahead of Apple ? Marc Benioff appears to believe so . ”
Oh , well , if Marc Benioff thinks so …
( Who ’s Marc Benioff ? )
… Salesforce CEO Marc Benioff …
Oh , thatMarc Benioff . Well , then , sure enough Apple is behind because … uh , he retweeted the matter . The view his company wo n’t even corroborate he endorses .
Some days the Macalope really believe he needs some form of calling counseling because this is not something a grown mythical brute should be spending his clip on .
… Benioff retweet[ed ] this : “ Crazy understand Apple trying to catch Samsung . stamp battery life history , sealing , blue color , front led light , & curved screens . Samsung determine the measure . ”
Hey , whoever to begin with tweeted this who was not Benioff , having something first does n’t needs think of you “ congeal the monetary standard . ” Microsoft technically sell smartphones and tablets for years before Apple did , but the iPhone and iPad specify the real market .
But again , this is a tower that sometimes deliberately covers thing that are n’t crucial . Should the Macalope even be responding to debate made in these pieces ? If the material is not crucial , why are we even read it ? Why was it even written up ? It ’s all very confusing .
The original tweet was emit by basketball passenger vehicle Dennis Marshall .
Ah , yes . Who else should we look to for cogent psychoanalysis of technical school than our esteemed incentive of people who put balls through basketball hoop ?
A Salesforce spokesman confirmed that Benioff himself performed the retweet …
You … you touch Salesforce ( and Apple , it turns out ) about a retweet . Wow . OK . The Macalope supposes that ’s an admirable floor of fact checking . He guess . He does n’t even really know what ’s going on anymore .
“ We recognise that Benioff ’s retweet is not a boastful raft , but we ’re going to fact check it as if it is anyway . ”
Your sketch comedy chemical group is awkward and lacks focussing .
… but could n’t say whether it reflect the chief executive officer ’s accurate view .
Could n’t orwouldn’t?HOW FAR DOES THIS CONSPIRACY GO ?
As hearsay have suggested that the next iPhone might calculate disappointingly like the last one …
Current propagation : I ’m so disappointed . This yr ’s smartphone is going to expect like last twelvemonth ’s .
Our Ancestors : AAAAH ALL MY FAMILY MEMBERS DIED INTHE GREAT MORTALITYAND NOW I’M EATING BARK BECAUSE THE CROP GOT INFESTED WITH MAGGOTS .
My fellow worker Jessica Dolcourt , for example , distinguish the latter as “ the sexiest large - cover phone ever ” in her review .
Somehow , the word “ sexy ” has n’t been used about Apple for a little while .
That ’s good because it’skind of creepy .
count , the Macalope draw it . The Technically Incorrect chromatography column is sort of a gag . It ’s often about things that do n’t rise to the common floor of importance . But its serious tone kind of makes that sound like more of an excuse than a draw .
I dunno . Maybe the Macalope ’s just bitter because he did n’t opine of it first .
