Summer is almost over and Apple ’s set to harbinger the iPhone 7 next hebdomad , so we ’ll finally be able-bodied to get a full sense of how expectant a disappointment it will be .
Before we inevitably bathe in the incandescence of the tangible fail that is to come , let ’s take a look back at the fail that ’s been projected at this unannounced headphone over the past months . Because savant who would have done easily to have gone to summer camp and pick up actual - world skills like how to make a wallet or ride a horse cavalry or sleep in a cabin with half a dozen other savant , instead waste those genus Halcyon years on deriding a approaching smartphone .
Summer hatin ’ , happened so fast …
The Verge ’s Nilay Patel got the summertime hatin ’ kicked off as too soon as June when he say remove the headphone jack was“user - hostile and stupefied ” . We do n’t need toseethings before we label them . What a wasteland of clip that would be . And when there are so many good show on these days what with the Netflix and such .
Summer hatin ’ , had me a blast …
Not only can we deride the machine we have n’t consider , we can also deride the merchandising of this fabled phone , asForbes ’s Ewan Spence informed us that not only was the iPhone 7 a total loserphone , Apple ’s selling of it would be “ unimaginative ” . That ’s so full of whimsical hypothesis about the time to come you almost desire to put it up for aNebula Award .
Met an iPhone , defective as can be …
Thanks to “ science ” we “ sleep together ” the iPhone 7 will fail because a Quartz survey discharge over the summer let on thatnobody wants to buy a phone they have n’t date yet . You see how this works ? It is clear unacceptable for Apple to sell a phone that no one wants because they have n’t picture it , therefore the iPhone 7 is condemn . QED , squirrel gorilla toast .
Met a Samsung , so good for me …
So , who did the pundit of summer think would be the fall ’s cock-a-hoop achiever ? Do you have to even inquire ?
Forbes ’s Ben Sin said“With iPhone 7 potential To Disappoint , This Fall Is Samsung ’s Time To Strike”whileTechnoBuffalo ’s Todd Haselton declaredthe Galaxy Note 7 is “ stat mi ahead of the iPhone ” .
Say , how ’d that work out ? ( … the Macalope asked , knowing full well the foley answer was the audio of car tire screeching , a crash , Godzilla yowl , monkeys hooting , cat yowl and finally a sliding board whistle . )
Well , first there was this :
“ With the Note 7 , Samsung Still deport Embarrassing Real - World Performance . ”
And then there was this :
“ Samsung Galaxy Note 7 and Gorilla Glass 5 scratch quite easily . ”
Aaaaaand ultimately there was this :
“ Samsung Recalls Galaxy Note 7 After Battery Explosions . ”
Do n’t fret , Samsung . Despite these setback , pundits still love that the future is only ever yours to take and Apple ’s to recede .
disregardless of the outcome of next week ’s Apple event , the Macalope will just be beaming we ’ll be talking about something real . Well , until we start the whole thing over again about the iPhone 8 .
