You willneverguess who ’s soon to be winning . Well , unless you record the title of respect . Or are remotely familiar with tired initiate tropes .
pen for theForbescontributor mesh and Nigel Farage LARPing Academy ( jokes charge unceremoniously from today ’s newspaper headline like a soggy Band - assistance ! ) , Ben Sin says everything ’s come up Samsung ! A - addition .
“ With iPhone 7 Likely To Disappoint , This Fall Is Samsung ’s Time To Strike . ”
Samsung is ever the curl viper , Apple the unsuspicious and well - fattened bunny rabbit with a limp .
grant to Sin , the iPhone 7 will be nothing but a in - flight of stairs fail sandwich from the food handcart of Yesterday ’s News Airlines , as Apple saves all its thunder for the iPhone 8 in 2017 .
I made that assumption based on other making water from Apple insiders . While those rootage are extremely reliable , they are still of the “ niche ” variety .
MY SOURCES ARE UNIMPEACHABLE . One of these guys literally work at the Orange Julius two doors down and across the way from the Minnetonka Apple Store .
( The Macalope originally write in “ Cinnabon ” instead of “ Orange Julius ” but then he decided , no , phoning it in like that is no dear forhisreaders , so he croak to the web site for the Ridgedale Center in Minnetonka . What ’s actually two doorway down and across the way from the Apple Store ? Dairy Queen / Orange Julius . Boom . The horny one is sure that it ’s this floor of detail to a dazed joke that keep his readers coming back for more stupid jokes . )
… now even the very mainstream Wall Street Journal ( who also has a good track book with Apple making water ) …
I AM JUST LIKE THE WALL STREET JOURNAL .
… has support that the iPhone 7 will in all probability let down the worldwide public .
CONFIRMED . IPHONE 7 A SNOOZE SALAD WITH ENNUI DRESSING FROM AU BORE PAIN .
Why is the iPhone 7 so decidedly , verifiably lacklustre ? Because it will come in the same general figure as the iPhone 6s . That ’s the line of reasoning .
Let us pause for a moment to retrospect two contend arguments being made about Apple . Another clause the Macalope considered write about for today was about how the iPhone SE selling so well was bad news show for Apple because cannibalism , blah , blah , who cares , it ’s just another Apple extinction upshot . So , the iPhone SE , which has the same dead body shape as the iPhone 5 which came out in 2012 , is selling briskly . And , yet , the iPhone 7 will fail because it will have the same body as the noooo , none of this make any sentiency . You ’re absolutely correct .
So now if you ’re Samsung , and you ’ve been battling Apple in a smartphone warfare ( that has spilled onto the court ) for half a decennium , and you know the iPhone 7 will likely generate a “ huh ? this is it ? ” chemical reaction , then you have to go all - out this surrender and take your biggest shot , right ?
Now ’s the time ! Slap together a headphone with fly buttresses and a loving cup bearer andenhanced creeper technology !
( No , youstop linking to that advert . )
It ’ll be near impossible for Samsung to overcome Apple in total profits , but it can push the market portion break further in its favor .
Oh , were we just speak about marketplace share ? gallant , nobody worry about market share . We settle that like three years ago .
