It ’s two - fer - Tuesday as ZDNet ’s Jason Perlow brings on a twofold Zen of … what is this ? Congealed Peeps ?
“ Apple Watch should cost as much as a deluxe pizza”(tip o ’ the antler toRob Wensing )
A deluxe … gold pizza ?
Macalope : “ I ’ll have a 12 - inch veggie supreme … and dip it in solid gold . ”
Domino ’s : “ Sir , we ’ve require you to stop call in . ”
Perlow think smartwatches should be $ 30 . Just because . Forget how much die into designing them and the fact that computer memory and batteries and software system design price money and that it takes time to storm up economies of scale in output . It justseemsto him that smartwatches should be cheap .
Itseemsto the Macalope that alfalfa should be destitute . It ’s just a works , right ? draw a blank the fact that someone has to own res publica to grow it , has to found it , incline it , cut it , box it , deliver it . WHAT THE HECK IS THE MACALOPE EVEN pay RAY ’S AMAZING ALFALFA CO . FOR , ANYWAY , ONE STAR , SHOULD BE FREE .
And I ’m not picking on Apple here …
Other than in the title and the first two paragraphs , certain .
On the surface , this sounds crazy .
Yes , it does ! On the surface and all the way through to the other side . It ’s actually making the things it ’s sitting next to crazy !
Hey , someday smartwatcheswillbe cheaper . Prices for electronics generally go down over time . The first iPod was $ 400 . Now you could get one with 16 times the capacity and a color projection screen that plays video recording for $ 149 . The Macalope has petty doubtfulness that within a few days they ’ll be cave in away crappy Android Wear smartwatches in food grain boxful . But , sure , the Apple Watch is n’t even out yet so go ahead and flip some tables about the price .
The Macalope has never personally met Perlow , but by all accounts he ’s a lovely mortal . The Macalope ’s interactions with him have always been delightful and he takes a poke with the antlers much better than your average learned person . So , the horny one is quite implicated that there is a mellow - pressure gas leak in Perlow ’s menage , because this train to Bananatown does n’t stop at $ 30 Smartphoneville .
“ Amazon ’s Apple Watch sea wolf will be costless and sell you everything”(tip o ’ the antler toChris Domico )
We do n’t even have an Apple Watch yet and already we have an Apple Watch Orcinus orca . Of course , that ’s not a record , it ’s just another day at the insanity mines . ( The insanity mine are between $ 30 Smartphoneville and Bananatown . )
Despite the complete fizzle that was the Fire Phone , Perlow think Amazon would pass with flying colors a smartwatch for three reasons . They are , and the Macalope is required by natural law to betoken out he is not making this up , because it would be simple-minded than the phone , it would apply AWS and because it would help you purchase Irish bull from Amazon .
For the love life of God , Jason , whatever you do , do not light up a match right now . KA - BOOM !
If the idea of corrupt more detritus from Amazon on your earphone is n’t compelling enough , just look .
It would be intimate how many hours a Nox you ’ve kip and could even constantly monitor your dead body temperature , oxygen levels and other key metrics , which could give you crucial notifications about your overall vitals .
That ’s a gross opportunity for the watchface , at the appropriate prison term , to show you protein bars …
GET IT OFF ! GET IT OFF !
Is that a great example ? “ You seem athirst . Would you like some protein barstwo sidereal day from now ? “
The Macalope does n’t bang about you , but the idea of Amazon getting ahold of its customers ’ health information gives him what medical Doctor call “ a massive slip of the willies ” . Do n’t vex , they ’re just going to dump that selective information into an algorithm and use it to endeavor to sell you poppycock . Nothing wrong with that .
“ You seem depressed . Other depressed customers have depend at [ Pills ] [ Lengths of Rope ] . ”
Apple Watch may very well be front and nerve centre of consumers mind right now when consider a smartwatch . But do n’t reckon out what the kinsfolk in Kirkland ’s skunkworks are planning , because if Amazon is anything , it ’s a mart disruptor .
The Macalope continue hearing how dandy Amazon ’s merchandising power is but it ’s never been proven with its own equipment . No one have a go at it how many Kindle Fires they ’ve sold . All they show is chart with line going up that were apparently print in a strange land without number . perhaps near $ 30 Smartphoneville . We do kind of bang how many Fire Phones they sell because “ next to nothing ” is sort of a act .
Jason , call the gas company . Pronto .