So , have you finished your Christmas shopping yet ? What ? You have n’t started?Get out there . Do n’t you actualise that sentence is bunk out , even as you ’re reading this ? If you wait too long , there might not be any present leave to buy . Think of the pain sensation , the suffering : you ’ll just have to buysocksfor everybody .
And thus I fulfill my contractual obligation to whip the public into a panic over something insignificant every once in a while . Good meter .
This week on the ‘ boxwood , we ’ve got a shocking surprise for would - be car thieves , an anti - eavesdropping pen , and some cheaper configurations of the legendary Optimus keyboard ( though really , why rile ? ) .
Almost as bad as sticker shock
At least two cars on my street were broken into last month ; neither were mine , as luck would have it , but after my own machine was broken into several years ago , I ’ve attempt to not take chance . I do n’t leave anything in my car overnight and I ’ve smartly disguised my Aston Martin DB7 as a 1997 Honda Accord . Tricky , right ?
But what about the other end of the equation : what if someone break into my house and have mykeys ? It ’s a risk , but one you do n’t demand to take if you induct $ 51 in theShock Car winder . You see it ’s not a key at all , butan electroshock gimmick . Anyone who tries to get going your car with this mark is just bound for a ( very small ) world of pain . Plus it ’s a great direction at practicing aversion therapy on your teen who preserve trying to borrow the railcar on Saturday Nox .
If there ’s one weakness thishilariousgadget has , it ’s believably the fact that it has the Logos “ SHOCK ” written in large clean missive on one side . Of naturally , if you use it , as suggested by the catalog transcript , “ down in the bar , ” I ’m trusted your friends targets will never even notice .
[ viaShiny Shiny ]
This pen is mightier than the bug
Shhhh . I do n’t want to say too much , because I think we ’re being watched . Andlistened to . And even , if I ’m not mistaken , smell . That ’s right ; they ’re , er , smelldroppingon us . I ’m taking an awful risk of infection even write about this , but that ’s why I packed myAuto Detective Pen .
If there ’s a wireless camera or mike around — and if it ’s broadcasting on the 900 , 1200 , 1300 , 2600 , or 3000 megahertz frequency — my ready to hand - dandy pen will bonk and clue me in with its nictate light-emitting diode light . There ’s also a UV ignitor just in typesetter’s case I desire to check the money that I , um , sometimes get for services fork out . Plus , there ’s this Hawaiian dancing girl and when you sour the pen upside down — but never take care that now .
Hey , this affair was a mountain at just $ 16 and it comes with shelling include . Did I observe that you even use it to spell note or a grocery list ? Yeah , it doeseverything .
[ viaDVICE ]
The best layout? We call it OptimusPrime
We ’ve been waiting , and waiting , and waitress — and hold back some more for the eventual discharge of the Optimus Maximus , the fabled keyboard that will lend ataraxis and prosperity to this earth . For verily , it is said that on that day the PC user will announce a truce with the Mac user , and all will live in harmony — except for those Linux guys . Nobody like them anyway .
But in suit you do n’t palpate like dropping the full $ 1,564 price on the 113 - key OLED keyboard , Art Lebedev and his team of industrial design hobgoblin guru have whipped upthree alternatives . you could get all the number varsity letter key out with OLED display ( that ’s 47 Florida key ) for $ 999 , or the 10 function keys on the left for $ 599 ; or just the spacebar for $ 462 .
Wait , why the heck would I want an OLED exhibit onjustmy spacebar ? Hey look , if I switch the keyboard layout to Cyrillic or Arabic … it ’s still a spacebar . And , more to the point , how could it possibly be worth a $ 362 insurance premium over the most expensive keyboard I would ever envision purchasing ? Go big or go home , I say .
The keyboards are due to come out next February , and pre - orders are currently being bear , should you have more money than you have intercourse what do with ( a prompting : brotherly love is always a serious bet this time of yr ) .
[ viaEngadget ]
That ’s all the convenience we can dispense with time for this hebdomad , but sleep assured , we ’ll back next workweek . In the meanwhile : bribe buy buy .
