Apple held an event this hebdomad in part to reveal more details about the Apple Watch so lease us turn to eWeek for reactions that no one in the whole entire macrocosm manage about .
” Apple Watch Gets miscellaneous Reactions From IT Analysts”(tip group O ’ the antlers to@JonyIveParody )
Yes , when look at the Apple Watch , what we must first determine is how will it scale in the enterprise with managed deployment in a Windows NT server - based zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz …
No one cares . No one .
But let ’s reach into this sack full of dull cats in business suits anyway and see what a few of them have to slowly and disapprovingly meow about .
“ It can be the greatest vigil in the human race , but it ’s still a tiny CRT screen . ”
And does it run Internet Explorer ? Because all our app demand Internet Explorer .
Oh , and Java . It needs Java .
Charles King , principal analyst with Pund - IT …
[ blank stare ]
“ Apple may be the only smartphone maker with a customer sports fan base that is dedicated to the point of looneyness . ”
It ’s “ looniness , ” eWeek . And , yes , that ’s it . We ’re all just summate cray - cray . All 75 million iPhone vendee a quartern . That ’s the only account that explains everything .
“ The company ’s biggest discriminator is its app developer community , but it ’s too soon to say if they ’ll help make or break the Apple Watch . ”
Sure , developer jumped on the iPhone and jumped on the iPad but it ’s perfectly possible they ’ll entirely model out the Apple Watch because I live in a productive illusion world of my own devising .
“ Unless the troupe and its developer community of interests can help acquire the Apple Watch into a must - have machine , I expect it will be remembered as a profitable yet short - lived collector’s item . ”
Well , that’sprettygood for Apple Watch negativity , but the horny one thinks there ’s an chance to turn it up to 11 here . Hmm . How . To . Do . That ?
Rob Enderle , main analyst with Enderle Group …
Yahtzee .
In fact , he said , by adding some smartphone function to a wristwatch , such as the ability to make a phone call , it may actually be less useful for some users .
“ In a noisy room , you are going to be screaming at the watch to be hear and trying to contain it up to your pinna on your radiocarpal joint , ” said Enderle .
So , because it does n’t work out in that one use shell — one in which smartphones also struggle — it ’s making the Watch less useful and therefore useless . As opposed to it being incredibly commodious in another economic consumption case , say in the railcar . nerveless analytic thinking , bro .
“ It ’s just much more convenient to hold a phone up to your capitulum , plus you bet less stupid than if you are holding your lookout up to your capitulum on your wrist . ”
Please accept this wadded up glob of congealed thought on societal fundamental interaction that I ’m pretending is engineering analysis . That ’s what you called me for , right ? Well , whatever , that ’s what you ’re getting .
If the first buyers of the Apple Watch finger stupid using the devices , then a 2d wafture of buyers will not bump , suppose Enderle .
The Watch can take phone calls . Therefore that is all the Watch can do . And taking phone calls on a watch is stupid so the Apple Watch will fail .
This is the analysis you call Rob Enderle for . for certain , someone could easily make a bot that would do that same thing but a bot lack Rob ’s je ne sais quoi .
( Really , what the quoi is that ? Is itHai Karate ? We have no estimate . )
Worse , because of the watch ’s small brass , as soon as the great unwashed seek to use it in airports to go through just the ticket scanners at gates , they will belike induce time lag because they ’ll take multiple scans to be properly say , said Enderle .
Now he ’s just Tarawa ’ stool up . Like when he advised IT manager toreport iPhone drug user in their organizations for ravish Sarbanes - Oxley rulesand when he said the iPhone was doomed becausekids would habituate it to schoolbook while driving and Apple would get sued into oblivion . form shit up is Rob ’s only countersink when it comes to Apple .
So , inside the away layer of “ Who gives a crud what IT analysts say about a consumer product ? ” we detect Rob “ Just making stuff up ” Enderle . This piece is like a Russian nest dolly of otiose commentary .
