You ’ve heard , of course , about the Apple double criterion , where a different Seth of rules apply to Apple than every other companionship out there because … . well , because Apple , that ’s why .
Writing forMashable , Stan Schroeder takes the Apple double standard a little too literally .
“ Hey , 32 GB iPhone 7 , I already detest you . ”(Tip o ’ the antlers to10at10 . )
Rumors of the base iPhone 7 sporting 32 gibibyte are n’t good enough for Schroeder .
I await the iPhone 7 to be among the best phones out there , and to achieve that , Apple would eventually have to do something unexpected — even if it ’s so simple as jumping from 16 GB base repositing to 64 GB for the gimcrack choice .
Also there should be bar and confetti and chocolate milk . And a duck . I ’ve always wanted a duck’s egg .
No , wait!Twoducks !
Yes , while 32 GB is enough for Samsung et al ( there probably is an Android OEM called just “ al ” ) , Apple has to double that or it ’s Failsville , North Dakota , home of the always giving - up Laters .
At local football game game they cheer “ GO HOME , LATERS ! ” And the Laters all leave the field and go home . uncanny place .
At this level some of you may be dismissively waving your hand , thinking you’re able to never please these tech journalists .
Well , the Macalope ’s doingsomethingwith his hand .
But hear me out .
OK , but only because the Macalope is manifestly filled with self - loathing since he chose this job .
Apple first infix a 16 GB iPhone in February 2008 . retrieve 2008 ? George W. Bush was still president of the U.S. , USB sticks still came in 256 Mbit sizes , and smartphones were a new thing .
Kids were doing a terpsichore called the “ Lindy , ” andStone Soupwas still a children ’s ledger teaching how to get people to give you thing for free when you have basically nothing . ( This has since been rebranded as “ startup culture . ” )
Look , if you want to pick up war stories , the Macalope survived on the original 4 GB iPhone for two years . So , he knows it ’s potential even today to make it on a 16 GB phone . The Macalope knows people who only use a handful of apps . He does n’t understand them , but they exist .
Still , there has n’t been a good reason to scrimp so on memory for a while now . That additional 16 GB costs very little for Apple and the only reason the base iPhones do n’t start at 32GBisto push you to the 64 GB model . Schroeder is completely correct on that point . That does n’t excuse demanding an supererogatory 32 GB “ just ‘ cause , ” though .
Hey Apple , when ’s the last time we had a pleasant surprisal ?
Uh , WWDC ? Or , at the very least , powerful before .
Now , the Macalope must monish his more sensitive readers that the surveil display of cognitive dissonance may cause disorientation , lightheadedness and even vomit up if you have a tender inner capitulum or the condition Dr. refer to as “ a tender tummy . ”
Most importantly , iPhone ’s overall spec just palpate unaccented .
And we all sleep together specs are why citizenry grease one’s palms iPhones .
Yes , it ’s a great phone …
hold back , what ? If its specs are so crappy and specs are clearlyso very crucial , then how can it be a great phone ? OK , everyone require good barrage fire life , yes , but it ’s been pretty clear shown that by owning the whole stack and make a fixed issue of phones , Apple is able to make a better , more optimize experience .
Yeah , Apple shucks well easily give the base iPhone 7 32 GB of capacity . But that ’s it .
